Did it in b/w because im lazy and dont like coloring.

We're in for a doozy this time, aren't we? The subject is [1]Twilight and why it is bad to be associated with. I made quite a few Twilight rants, but none of them ever got to see the light of day. This one should be the longest yet and well, if you're reading this, then I guess it's successful. The others weren't.


Alright, now that that's out of the way, we'll begin off with the basics.


The main focus of the [1]Twilight series is the [2]Cullen family. They're vampires. Each were born in different parts of the US, with Carlisle being the only one from a different country (England). However, they're the adoption-oriented type of family, or rather, no one is truly related. These vampires have pale skin, which is normal. They have color-changing eyes, which is okay. Then it gets a little too fan-fic-ish. They don't have fangs, however, they do suck [rimshot]. They're vegetarian, too (they eat animals, not people). And Stephanie Meyer's crowning achievement: [3]THEY SPARKLE IN SUNLIGHT.


If there is one thing you don't change, it's the sun part. Vampires are unholy demons [4]that cannot bear “God's light,” so it burns their skin and can even reduce them to ash if exposed for long enough. On this one site, The Twilight Saga, there's a thread where people actually discuss the book. One user, now banned, named "Solitaire Faggot" stated that the origin of sun damage comes from Judas hanging himself at dawn. Solitaire also stated that when one hangs themselves at dawn they don't sparkle. Vampires, as he stated, are based off Judas and Vlad the Impaler. Both evil guys. These vampire attributes have been around for hundreds of years, kept alive as stories of the Strigoi and whatnot, should not be changed for the sake of telling a “good” story. Also, there's vampire venom. Yeah. Way to go, Steph, you made vampires into people-snakes. Isn't there an anime/manga that kind of has an element like that? True Blood? Didn't Stephanie even admit to enjoying that series? Huh. Kind of makes me want to avoid True Blood now.


The next segment has to do with how the characters act. I haven't read the books (as I would burn them half way into the first chapter), but I've listened to half of Twilight's audio book. What I gather is that [5]Bella is a two-dimensional character without a single trace of intelligence. Her head is a box of rocks. She's pretty and everyone welcomes her, but she's still an idiot that doesn't know what's going on. At least that's how Kristen Stewart portrays her. [5]She doesn't even appear to be shocked to run into vampires. And those books she claims to have read... That's got to be an outright lie. Also, [6]she has sex with a dead guy in the last book and becomes a vampire.


Edward, the iconic Twilight character, has got to be the worst character in literature history. He's strong, he's fast, he can read thoughts, he's tall, he's pretty, he sparkles like a fucking fairy. He's God's gift to preteens, really. He's also a stalker and quite abusive, as shown by going into her room at night and staring at her along with taking apart the engine of Bella's car, as if to protect her. I might be wrong on the car thing, but it's essentially what happened. In the books, he's perfect. The Mary-est of Sues. Also, he's like 100 years old and he ends up having sex with an 18-year old in Breaking Dawn... Im not expert on immortal beings, but wouldnt that be like paedophilia to them?.


That covers characters. The others aren't even worth a mention. Tune in next time for part 2!

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